Tuesday, March 29, 2011
A few months ago I was talking to this guy, who shall remain nameless, and we were having a conversation about past love interests so to speak. There was a girl, who really caught his attention, and he went on and on about how beautiful she was spiritually and physically so much so that my curiosity had been peeked! In rare but normal female form I said, “Let me see her.” He proceeds to find her on FB and before he shows me the “oh so beautiful woman” he asks, “Are you sure u want to see her?” *Side eye* let’s pause this story right here. Now, I found so much wrong with that statement that I really don’t know where to begin. But you have to start somewhere so…Let’s go!
1) His statement let me know the type of females he was use to dealing with! You know the insecure ones!!!! LOL I had to question what exactly he thought my response would be? Look @ her and run off crying???? Probably not!
2) Jealousy and Envy are two character traits that I try not to water because they don’t need to grow. It seems like he thought that seeing her would be a blow to myself esteem. It might have, if I was one who nurtured my confidence by comparing myself to others.
3) I don’t have an issue with giving other “Bad” females props! I can compliment, uplift, and congratulate the next without a problem.
I can’t blame the guy for thinking he was protecting me from an emotional breakdown. We hadn’t known each other for very long so I’m going to say he was unaware that he was in the presence of a Lady who knows her worth! My gold mine doesn’t lie in my physical attributes alone but in my character, wisdom, wit, and strength…the list goes on but I’ll stop there for fear of sounding conceited! LOL
*Pressing Play on the story* He showed me her picture and my response was just as I thought it would be “Yeah she is pretty.” The end! There was not a thought of “I Wish” anywhere in sight! Maybe he thought she was prettier than me, which is fine because I could name a few men who I feel have more swagger, are more handsome, and who smell better than him! (I’m just saying LMBO). It’s possible that I read too much into his comment and I’m sure that there was no malicious intent hiding under his words. More often than not, there never is!
I could have allowed what he said to cultivate and manifest into something BIGGER, but I chose not to allow what I perceived to be his opinion of me to override my own! I realized awhile ago that the “Sticks and stones…but words will never hurt” bit was a LIE! People’s words, opinions, and thoughts matter and they plant seeds. If by chance they seem negative, understand that not everybody is “for you” per say. But please know that it’s your choice on what you allow that seed to grow into, if you allow it to grow at all. Develop and embrace your own opinion of yourself, that way you won’t find yourself in other people’s words!
SN: this has nothing to do with the FASHION BLOG that I‘m creating, but I guess I’m laying a foundation so that we not only look fabulous but feel fabulous as well! Hope you enjoyed!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
I just so happen to be surrounded by friends and family who all seem to have smaller frames or body statures than I do. Luckily for me I took after my Dad’s side and inherited his height as well. Otherwise my weight placement would have been different, causing the “thick-o-meter” to run hot If you get my drift. Did I notice the difference? YES, but I never really tripped though. The explanation in my house was/is “You took after yo Daddy side...” and that worked for me! (Saw that as a good thing, I was a Daddy’s Girl)
I met BFF (1) in the 3rd grade, I guess opposites attract because that we are. But, I’ll just focus on the outer appearance for this post. She is small, I’m not, I’m tall she’s not! My assumption was that small people needed to eat and BIG people needed to stop! (LOL @ myself) It wasn’t until I invited her over for my first slumber party did I see that assumption may be wrong! This girl was a savage when it came to food! (She gon’ kill me) I mean she ate ALL the pizza, ALL the cookies, ALL the chips, grapes etc., while I looked on in awe 0_o!!! So did my parents, because when it was time for the next party they asked me if she was coming so that they can prepare! LMBO I mean I really didn’t get it she ate more than me but gained absolutely nothing! I didn’t understand, but I didn’t try to either. I just accepted the fact that we are different, I can’t do what she does and she has room to be greedy. Never did I say this B**** makes me sick! Skinny B****** are EVIL!!! Nor did I become the “Envious” BIG girl who felt the need to comment about every skinny girl who walked by, walked in, or got up! ß------- SHE is just annoying!!! These women look in the mirror presumably every day and I’m sure that they are aware of their size! So why won't you do what you can to OWN the room! #check (This is one of my pet peeves)
People would look at her and say things like “You need to EAT...” *with a scrunched up face* “Why you so skinny….”, “Wit you lil bitty self...” Things that I never thought affected her, until she brought it up one day. Her question was why is it ok to call skinny people skinny but not fat people fat?? My Response: maybe because being skinny is not a bad thing. Then I thought, but it IS a CRIME to be too skinny in the black community. LOL I had no answers for her question but what I can say is she can’t help how her body processes food! Neither can I nor the other skinny minis in the world! Eating wise, the girl should be bigger than me! But that is not the case so… What now? Develop a plan: I work out 4-5 times a week, I am mindful of what I eat , I limit my GREEDY sessions, and more importantly I realize that because I am not able to do what she does, she is not EVIL!
I really think Monique may have gotten it wrong here, especially since she has dropped more than a few LBS herself. I know she was trying to promote BIG self love, but making the “Skinny woman” the enemy seems to divert the attention from what I feel is the real problem! Let’s just be honest big does not = healthy. It equals high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, clogged arteries etc! Now how can we blame the skinny woman for all that??? How can I be upset with her because her metabolism works faster than mine?? It’s just plain genetics!! Fair… maybe not but neither is favor! If you're still mad, GET EVEN! But be comfortable in your own skin and confident enough to make changes!
I attended the 7th Annual Style Experience on March 13,2011. Presented by Fashion Designer Perry Varner, this was his last show in Montgomery, AL. The turn out was amazing and so was the support! Best of Luck on New York Mr. Varner!
Shirt: Vintage find!
Skirt: Wet Seal online
Shoes: Mia (DSW)
Necklace: JC Penny
Earrings: Vintage Find!