A few months ago I was talking to this guy, who shall remain nameless, and we were having a conversation about past love interests so to speak. There was a girl, who really caught his attention, and he went on and on about how beautiful she was spiritually and physically so much so that my curiosity had been peeked! In rare but normal female form I said, “Let me see her.” He proceeds to find her on FB and before he shows me the “oh so beautiful woman” he asks, “Are you sure u want to see her?” *Side eye* let’s pause this story right here. Now, I found so much wrong with that statement that I really don’t know where to begin. But you have to start somewhere so…Let’s go!
1) His statement let me know the type of females he was use to dealing with! You know the insecure ones!!!! LOL I had to question what exactly he thought my response would be? Look @ her and run off crying???? Probably not!
2) Jealousy and Envy are two character traits that I try not to water because they don’t need to grow. It seems like he thought that seeing her would be a blow to myself esteem. It might have, if I was one who nurtured my confidence by comparing myself to others.
3) I don’t have an issue with giving other “Bad” females props! I can compliment, uplift, and congratulate the next without a problem.
I can’t blame the guy for thinking he was protecting me from an emotional breakdown. We hadn’t known each other for very long so I’m going to say he was unaware that he was in the presence of a Lady who knows her worth! My gold mine doesn’t lie in my physical attributes alone but in my character, wisdom, wit, and strength…the list goes on but I’ll stop there for fear of sounding conceited! LOL
*Pressing Play on the story* He showed me her picture and my response was just as I thought it would be “Yeah she is pretty.” The end! There was not a thought of “I Wish” anywhere in sight! Maybe he thought she was prettier than me, which is fine because I could name a few men who I feel have more swagger, are more handsome, and who smell better than him! (I’m just saying LMBO). It’s possible that I read too much into his comment and I’m sure that there was no malicious intent hiding under his words. More often than not, there never is!
I could have allowed what he said to cultivate and manifest into something BIGGER, but I chose not to allow what I perceived to be his opinion of me to override my own! I realized awhile ago that the “Sticks and stones…but words will never hurt” bit was a LIE! People’s words, opinions, and thoughts matter and they plant seeds. If by chance they seem negative, understand that not everybody is “for you” per say. But please know that it’s your choice on what you allow that seed to grow into, if you allow it to grow at all. Develop and embrace your own opinion of yourself, that way you won’t find yourself in other people’s words!
SN: this has nothing to do with the FASHION BLOG that I‘m creating, but I guess I’m laying a foundation so that we not only look fabulous but feel fabulous as well! Hope you enjoyed!