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Transparent moment: Life's alterations I had a Plan...

It was the day after we had an ice storm, more than a few people called out, but I went to work anyway...I guess I'm just dedicated like that! After lunch, my boss came into my office and asked me if I had a second. (Unwritten rule: You ALWAYS have a second when the boss asks right!) I grabbed my notepad as always, noticed that he smirked, wondered why, but kept walking. Then he said, "we're going into the General Manager's office"... immediately my stomach dropped.

A long lasting moment of FEAR set in as he closed the door. I immediately went through a summarization of all things work related; searching the database of my mind trying to figure out What The Hell I could've done wrong! Then my manager said, "I have bad news, they've eliminated your position and today is your last day with us!" To space I went...

Now In my head, I fell out, called on the Lawd, cried out loudly asking Jesus to dethrone, flipped the table over, was happy about being off work, ran to my Mama, then jumped into somebody's casket. But in true professional form, I nodded my head as he went over the details; keeping my responses to a minimum all while holding back the tears. Mannnnnnnn I've never quit or been fired from a job that I actually liked before. This was new.

These last few years have been really seamless! Nothing much to be worried about, just your regular everyday woes. Coming into 2015, I was uber nervous and had a feeling that something big was going to happen. I guess I just felt a new season was coming.  

These past few weeks have been an emotional roller coaster. On one hand I am EXCITED about the move of God; on the other hand, Wells Fargo Student Loan Servicing is leaving voicemails. Without realizing it, working a 9-5 gave me a sense of purpose. I actually took pride in giving someone else 8 hours of my day. I never thought that getting laid off would turn into shame! Like, why am I ashamed of something I had no control over? Probably because I was trained to go to school, graduate, go to work. Plus, I had a plan and losing my main source of income was NOT in it!

Oh, but how easily I fell into going to bed and waking up at will! I've been able to dedicate more time to styling and sewing! I've had two fashion shows in the last three weeks with one coming up next week! Although, what I have learned most  about myself is that even with more time, I still procrastinate! LOL  

I'll be honest, my desires were changing and I wanted more... but what do you do when your desire for more clashes with your present comfort level? I understand that being comfortable is DANGEROUS, but I had a plan or at least I thought I did. Now, I'm thinking it was to be non-committal. 

It's nerve racking not knowing what the next 30 days will hold. But I do know that God loves me more than enough. I have a decision to make, run after the passion or work for the man again.

To be Continued....

E. Louise